My Day-to-Day Journey to Becoming a Surrogate Mom: The Real Experience from Selection to Delivery

Being a surrogate mother is not only a job full of responsibilities, but also a life-changing journey. As a surrogate mother who has gone through two surrogacy experiences, I will share my first-hand perspective on how to become a surrogate mother, the details of my daily life, and my unique experience in Kyrgyzstan, in order to provide real-life references for potential surrogate mothers.

1. What is a surrogate mother?

A surrogate mother is a woman who helps others realize their desire to have children with the help of medical technology. Surrogacy is divided into two categories based on technical differences:

Traditional surrogacy (phased out): conception by combining one’s own egg with the sperm of the commissioning party, genetically related to the baby.
Gestational surrogacy (mainstream method): only the uterus is provided, embryos are grown in vitro from the sperm and eggs of the commissioning party or the donor, and are not genetically linked to the baby.
I chose gestational surrogacy, which uses the embryos of the commissioning couple throughout to ensure a clear legal and ethical relationship. This process relies on techniques such as In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), hormone therapy, etc. and requires strict adherence to medical protocols.

2. Why did I choose to become a surrogate mother?

My motivation stems from a dual drive:

Financial support: The surrogate’s fee pays for the child’s education. In Kyrgyzstan, for example, surrogate mothers earn an average of $20,000-$40,000, which far exceeds the salary of the average local professional.
Emotional value: Having witnessed friends and family in despair due to infertility, they want to use their fertility to create happiness.
It is important to note that surrogacy requires a rigorous psychological evaluation to ensure pure motives and the ability to withstand the stress of pregnancy.

3. Practical benefits of being a surrogate mother

In addition to the financial rewards, the hidden benefits that come with surrogacy include:
Comprehensive medical coverage: the commissioning party pays for all maternity tests, delivery and treatment of complications, and I even receive more specialized care than I would have received if I had given birth myself.
Legal protection: the contract has a clear privacy clause, and my real name and address are only known to the client and the lawyer.
Amenities: I received a monthly living allowance of $1,500 for nutrition, transportation and housekeeping during my pregnancy.

4. How long does the entire surrogacy cycle take?

From contract to delivery, my two surrogacy pregnancies took 14 months and 16 months respectively, and the process is divided into three phases:
Preparation (1-2 months): signing legal documents, completing screening for infectious diseases and evaluating the uterine environment.
Medical (3-4 months): estrogen is taken to thicken the uterine lining, and two embryo transfers are performed (the first one is repeated due to failure of implantation).
Gestational period (9-10 months): regular labor and delivery checkups, dietary adjustments, and ultimately delivery by cesarean section.

5. Daily dietary management for surrogate mother

A professional dietitian customized my daily recipes and the core principles included:
High protein intake: breakfast must contain Greek yogurt or eggs, and lunch is based on fish and beans to safeguard the neurological development of the fetus.
Sugar control strategy: low GI fruits (e.g. blueberries) instead of desserts to prevent gestational diabetes.
Supplements are necessary: take folic acid, vitamin D and iron daily, with the client bearing the full cost.
In Kyrgyzstan, the agency also provides organic ingredient delivery services to avoid food safety risks.

6. How many times does a surrogate mother need to go to the hospital?

Taking a single successful pregnancy as an example, I went to the hospital a total of 28 times, and the key points include:
Pre-transplant: 3 times for hormone level monitoring and 2 times for uterine ultrasound.
Early pregnancy: weekly blood tests to confirm doubling of HCG, bi-weekly ultrasounds to observe fetal heart.
Middle and late pregnancy: monthly macroscopic examination, weekly fetal heart monitoring after 36 weeks.

7. Daily life arrangement for a surrogate mother

My schedule is highly structured and core tasks include:
Medical cooperation: regular daily progesterone injections, recording body temperature, taking medication requires video supervision by a nurse.
Light exercise: daily walk for 30 minutes, attend pregnancy yoga classes (paid by the commissioner).
Psychological support: twice-monthly psychological counseling to ease anxiety about the “separation of mother and baby”.
In Kyrgyzstan, the agency also provides chauffeur-driven transportation and interpreter services to address language barriers.

8. What it’s really like to be a surrogate mother

Physiological level:
The bloating and hormonal fluctuations during the transplant phase are more intense than in a natural pregnancy.
Twin pregnancies lead to doubled pressure on the lumbar spine and the need to wear a support belt for a long time.

Psychological level:
When I felt fetal movement in mid-pregnancy, I felt a brief emotional connection, but my legal training helped me to rationally distinguish between “responsibility” and “affection”.
Seeing the tears of the commissioning couple after the delivery was a sense of fulfillment that far outweighed the physical exhaustion.

9. The unique experience of being a surrogate mother in Kyrgyzstan

I chose to be a surrogate mother for the second time in Kyrgyzstan in 2024, after the Family Code made surrogacy legal:
Legal advantages: birth certificate directly labeled with the names of the commissioning parents, no additional litigation required.
Security of life: stay in an apartment provided by the agency with 24-hour nurses and security.
Cultural Adaptation: Local doctors specialize in Russian and English communication, dietary preferences (e.g. horse meat intake) need to be negotiated in advance.
Conclusion
Becoming a surrogate mother requires a triple guarantee of physical resilience, psychological preparation and legal awareness. With the intervention of a professional organization and strict self-management, this journey not only improves the financial situation, but also allows you to participate in the miracle of life in a unique way. For those considering surrogacy, it is advisable to prioritize the assessment of your health, choose a legal country (e.g., Kyrgyzstan), and specify privacy and rights clauses in your contract!